Average

by Annmarie Ferry (our distinguished colleague and fellow content creator)

As she glanced down at the test score report from the previous year, she delivered the sobering news: “Alyssa is solidly where she needs to be.”  This report would have been welcomed by many parents, so why did I feel a certain amount of disappointment and maybe even embarrassment?  How was it possible that my brilliant soon-to-be second grade child, who had better conversational skills at two than some adults I know, just be “average”?

As I nodded my head and thanked the principal when she assured me that “This is a good thing,” inside I was thinking, “Yeah right. You’re basically telling me that academically, this kid is nothing to brag about.”

I wasn’t an educator when that elementary principal sat me down to discuss the test results. That career choice happened many years later. Had I been, I would have realized how lucky I really was to have a child who was a solid average, at least on paper.  As an educator who teaches students with learning disabilities, I know many parents would have jumped for joy and hugged that kind principal who assured them that their child was “solidly where he/she needed to be”.

I would have also realized that a test did not define my child. But, I was just a naïve parent, and this woman had knowledge about my child that I needed to take into account, or so I thought. I had no idea that the guidance, direction, directives, and many times, demands my husband and I would dole out over the years would have the biggest influences on our “typical” kid’s life, way more than any proficiency level on a “snapshot” test.  We refused to allow her to fall victim to the “average” label and held the bar just high enough over her head that she had to stretch to touch it with her fingertips.

Each year, the tests pretty much told the same story. She always nailed the score she needed to, but rarely got out of that danger zone that now would have earned her the distinct recognition as a “bubble” kid. These bubble kids are average students, who generally pass the state and district assessments, but just barely, and are at risk of falling below the clear-cut line of proficiency. These are the kids that scare the crap out of educators, because they are the ones who can drop a level in a snap, leaving a black mark on the school’s score breakdown.

Quite frankly, they are a scary group, not because of the possible negative effect they can have on a school grade, but because they are the ones who typically get ignored and fall through the proverbial cracks.  As a parent of one of these kids, I wish I would have known to fight harder for her in school to get the attention she so desperately needed. Instead, I paid big bucks to outside tutors who filled in the gaps for her so that she didn’t fall behind. Not every family has that luxury.

Fast-forward eleven years. I have a daughter who ended up exceeding expectations that test results and the system itself set for her. At one point, we had to demand she reach the bar because for some reason or another, she did not see herself as worthy of much.  She never said it, but her risky behaviors and loss of motivation to excel told us more than words ever could.

Out of respect for her, I won’t say much about that “dark” period because she doesn’t like to discuss or dwell on the past; it was just a glitch in her life that I am actually grateful for because I believe it was a necessary part of the puzzle that is her life. It didn’t define her or have any lingering negative consequences.  In fact, she learned many valuable lessons that helped shape her into the fantastic young lady she is today.

One of the most important, I believe, is that when you have people who believe in you, you begin to believe in yourself.  You cannot give up on yourself when your parents and/or other adults in your life won’t let you off the hook.

Another is that cop-outs and excuses are not part of a successful person’s repertoire. She graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA, and is currently rocking almost all A’s (darn that one B+ in Biology) at our local university.  She earned her CNA license through our high school’s Medical Academy, and is working two – 12 hour night shifts at a hospital every weekend to gain experience in the nursing field.

She has received many accolades at work, and all the nurses on her floor beg to have her as their assistant.  I would have been thrilled if she had just set her sights on getting her bachelor’s in Nursing and become an RN, but this kid is hell-bent on earning her doctorate’s to become a Nurse Practitioner.  Her motivation and self-confidence has soared, and she is now holding herself to the high standards and expectations we set for her when she was young

This “average” child learned early on she was going to have to work hard to excel in higher-level courses, and work hard she did. Her accomplishments are truly a result of her tenacity, her desire to learn, and her will to succeed, something a standardized test cannot assess. I can sincerely say that Alyssa has become the kind of person I am happy to unleash upon the world, and I wish that principal could see her now.

There is a real danger in labeling children based on a level of proficiency on a state assessment (or as it stands now, multiple state and district assessments).  Too often, expectations are set too low or too high for students based solely on a test, and the child’s uniqueness gets pushed to the side.

When this happens, children, and adults alike, begin to question their place in the world and may be made to feel as if they don’t quite fit. These self-doubts can manifest into risky behaviors later on in life.  They can make a child unmotivated and disinterested. I am a firm believer in the multiple intelligences and feel we must foster each child’s innate intelligences if we truly want him or her to succeed.

A standards-based test cannot and will not ever accomplish that.  What I had on my hands was a child especially gifted in interpersonal intelligence, hence her ability to hold conversations with anyone and everyone from a very early age.  Her learning style requires social interaction, and I thank God that she had teachers who created such classroom environments, at least in elementary school.  She has chosen a career with high social interaction and engagement because she recognizes she is gifted in that area, and that is where she is most satisfied.

My plea to all parents out there is to not let a test or a series of tests based on standards set by people who do not know your child define your child.  You know your child, his or her strengths, likes and dislikes, struggles and uniqueness. You are the one to help your child find that place in the world where they are above average, regardless of a confusing parent report with meaningless numbers and proficiency ratings.

You are the one who can help your child see the extraordinary in ordinary things.  And, if you’re lucky, your child will also have a few educators along the way who have the same insights as you do.

Maybe that is what this world really needs: more “average” people doing extraordinary things.